甜蜜爱情的禁忌高中英语作文
it’ not eay to have a great relationhip with your boy/girlfriend, partner, or poue、 but it’ not impoible, either — it take ome work, of coure, but it’ work, work that’ a joy when everything come together、
a lot of time, though, the work in’t enough、 we get in our own way with idea and attitude about relationhip that are not only wrong, but often work to undermine our relationhip no matter how hard we work at it、
i’ve watched a lot of breakup (ome of them my own)、 i’ve een dramatic flare-up and drawn-out low fade, and i’ve tried to pay attention to what eem to be going on、 here are a few of the thing i’ve een that caue people to detroy their own relationhip、
1、 you’re playing to win
one of the deadliet killer of relationhip i the competitive urge、 i don’t mean competition in the ene that you can’t tand to loe at tenni, i mean the attitude that the relationhip itelf i a kind of game that you’re tying to win、 people in competitive relationhip are alway looking for an advantage, the upper hand, ome edge they can hold over their partner’ head、 if you feel that there are thing you can’t tell your partner becaue he or he will ue it againt you, you’re in a competitive relationhip — but not for long、
2、 you don’t trut
there are two apect of trut that are important in relationhip、 one i truting your partner enough to know that /he won’t cheat on you or otherwie hurt you — and to know that he or he trut you that way, too、 the other i truting them enough to know they won’t leave you or top loving you no matter what you do or ay、 the econd that level of trut i gone, whether becaue one of you take advantage of that trut and doe omething horrible or becaue one of you think the other ha, the relationhip i over — even if it take 10 more year for you to break up、
3、 you don’t talk
too many people hold their tongue about thing that bother or upet them in their relationhip, either becaue they don’t want to hurt their partner, or becaue they’re trying to win、 (ee 1 above; eample: “if you don’t know why i’m mad, i’m certainly not going to tell you!”) while thi might make thing eaier in the hort term, in the long run it gradually erode the foundation of the relationhip away、 little iue grow into bigger and bigger problem — problem that don’t get fied becaue your partner i blifully unaware, or wore, i totally aware of them but think they don’t really bother you、 ultimately, keeping quiet reflect a lack of trut — and, a i aid that’ the death of a relationhip、
4、 you don’t liten
litening — really litening — i hard、 it’ normal to want to defend ourelve when we hear omething that eem like criticim, o intead of really hearing omeone out, we interrupt to eplain or ecue ourelve, or we turn inward to prepare our defene、 but your partner deerve your active litening、 /he even deerve you to hear the between-the-line content of daily chit-chat, to u out hi/her dream and deire when even /he doen’t even know eactly what they are、 if you can’t liten that way, at leat to the peron you love, there’ a problem、
5、 you pend like a ingle peron
thi wa a hard leon for me to learn — until it broke up a 7-year relationhip、 when you’re ingle, you can buy whatever you want, whenever you want, with little regard for the future、 it’ not necearily wie, but you’re the only one who ha to pay the conequence、 when you are with omeone in a long-term relationhip, that i no longer a poibility、 your partner — and your children, if there are or will be any — will have to bear the brunt of your pending, o you’d better get in the habit of taking care of houehold neceitie firt and then, if there’ anything left over, of dicuing with your partner the bet way to ue it、
thi i an increaing problem thee day, becaue more and more people are opting to keep their finance eparate, even when they’re married、 there’ nothing wrong with that kind of arrangement in and of itelf, but it demand more communication and involvement between the partner, not le、 if you’re pending money a if it wa your money and nobody ele ha a right to tell you what to do with it, your relationhip i doomed、
6、 you’re afraid of breaking up
nobody in a truly happy partnerhip i afraid of breaking up、 if you are, that’ a big warning ign that omething’ wrong、 but often, what’ wrong i the fear itelf、 not only doe it betray a lack of trut, but it how a lack of elf-confidence and elf-eteem — you’re afraid that there’ no good reaon for omeone to want to be with you, and that ooner or later your partner will “wie up” and take off、 o you pour more energy into keeping up the appearance of a happy relationhip than you do into building yourelf up a a peron、 quite frankly, thi in’t going to be very atifying for you, and it alo in’t going to be very atifying for your partner、
7、 you’re dependent
there’ a thin line between companionhip and upport and dependency、 if you depend on your partner — that i, if you abolutely cannot live without her or him — you’ve croed that line、 the preure i now on your partner to fill whatever’ miing in you — a preure /he will learn to reent、 if you epect your partner to bring everything while you bring nothing to your relationhip — and i’m talking finance a well a emotional upport, here — you’re in trouble、 (note: i’m not aying that you need to contribute equally to houehold finance — what i’m aying i that if you’re not contributing to the houehold budget, and you’re not contributing anywhere ele, thing are out of whack and that’ never good、)
8、 you epect happine
a ign of a bad relationhip i that one or both partner epect either to make the other happy or for their partner to make them happy、 thi i not only an unrealitic epectation to lay on yourelf or on them — nobody can “make” you happy, ecept you — but it’ an unrealitic epectation to lay on your relationhip、 relationhip aren’t only about being happy, and there’ lot of time when you won’t and even houldn’t be、 being able to rely on omeone even when you’re upet, mierable, depreed, or grieving i a lot more important than being happy all the time、 if you epect your partner to make you happy — or wore, you’re frutrated becaue you aren’t able to make your partner happy — your relationhip in’t going to fare well when it hit a rough pot、
9、 you never fight
a good argument i eential, every now and then、 in part, arguing help bring out the little tuff before it become major, but alo, fighting epree anger which i a perfectly normal part of a human’ emotional make-up、 your relationhip ha to be h2 enough to hold all of who you are, not jut the unny tuff、
one reaon couple don’t fight i that they fear conflict — which reflect a lack of trut and a foundation of fear、 that’ bad、 another reaon couple avoid argument i that they’ve learned that anger i unreaonable and unproductive、 they’ve learned that arguing repreent a breakdown rather than a natural part of a relationhip’ development、 while an argument in’t pleaant, it can help both partner to articulate iue they may not have even known they had — and help keep them from immering until you.
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